“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise”.. Goodbye May.

This weekend I was able to stop and smell the flowers...

Kevin and I, spent the weekend in Glenwood, UT at his grandparents cabin. It was a wonderful trip away to just relax and enjoy time with family. I rode and drove my first ATV ever and loved every minute of it. Kevin drove us out into a huge open field and parked the ATV. We laid in the tall flowing grass for a short while just soaking up the beautiful sun and enjoying the fresh air. However I have to admit, I felt we were almost having a Bella and Edward moment right out of Twilight laying in that open field. It was awesome. We walked to the chapel in town on Sunday and took the long way home so we could drive by the Manti temple. It began to rain a little on the way home Sunday evening , and with a light mist and the setting sun it made passing through the old small towns and rolling hills something right out of a movie.

On our way down to the cabin, Friday night, we passed through Juab County. For those who aren't aware of what this mean, this is the place where my younger brother, Hunter, passed away last summer. 

As we drove further down the road and began to see signs for Juab County and Yuba Reservoir, my heart began to ache. Not long before coming into this county we passed the little hospital in Nephi where Hunter was taken after they pulled him from the water. The Hospital where my parents, sisters and family members gathered after the accident. 

I began to fill overwhelmed with the feelings I had of my brother. I wasn't sure if it was because I was missing him, or because I was remembering that day or if simply because I wasn't there when it happened and I was finally in that place.... So many emotions were stirring in my little heart and that's when I could no longer hold back he tears. With the radio slightly playing in the background, I began to weep. It's in these moments, our family calls them "Hunter Moments", that I really feel like  I am able to step back and look at my life. Kevin  has an incredible way of making things better. He simply grabs my hand, gives me a kiss and then smiles. I'm pretty sure that smile could get him anything he wanted. Kevin often says how he wished could have known Hunter, how he knows they would have been friends and how he can't wait to meet him someday.  Kevin is so sweet to always let me just cry and miss my little brother without ever trying to "fix" it. 

Today at work I was looking on the calendar and could not believe its almost June! June 23rd will mark one year since my sweet brother left this earth. June 30th we travel to Sacramento, CA to do Hunter's temple work, and my sister Aubrey is also going through for herself this day, it will be an incredible evening. 

The rest of the day I kind of felt like a little black rain cloud was hovering over my cubical in preparation for a downpour of tears next month. When I am feeling sad I always try to think how happy Hunter is and how is poor body is no longer suffering. I try to think he's in heaven with Grandma Honey and my future children.

Hunter Blackstone Goold

On the way home tonight, still trying to shake that little black rain cloud, I heard a small comforting whisper. A whisper I have heard a million times, in the last year more recently than ever, but the whisper that can heal any wound. It simply said: "Families can be together forever". Seems silly, how I've heard this phrase my whole life and how now it can have so much more meaning. Families CAN be together forever! I know it. I know that my sweet brother is watching over my sisters and my parents and I everyday. He is anxiously awaiting the day we will all be together again. One of my favorite 'Lite Reads' is, The Family: A Proclamation To The World (Read it here) In the third paragraph it says: "The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave". What an incredible knowledge that is. I am so grateful that my parents chose to be sealed for eternity and that because of this, my sisters and I will be with our brother again someday. I am so blessed to have found Kevin and that he prepared his whole life to take me to the temple so we could also be sealed for eternity. I recognize now what an incredible blessing it is to be sealed to your family. 

 

I look forward to coming home everyday, not only to see my INCREDIBLE husband, whom I miss ridiculously throughout the day while we are at work, but also for my Daily Inspiration (Read here). I was able to watch the video of Stephanie & Christian Nielson on Glen Beck's show that aired Monday Night. The title of the episode was: Turning Tragedy to Triumph.(Watch here)  Stephanie is one of my personal heroes. I was introduced to her blog last year after Hunter died. Her blog is a daily reminder of how to overcome tragedy. Stephanie has such an incredible love for her family and for her Father in Heaven. She doesn't know it, but the things she has said in the her posts over the last year, although the two circumstances are very different (Stephanie's and Hunters) have helped me along my healing process from Hunter's passing.

Glen Beck said at the beginning of the episode, " Your life, like it or not, my life, all of our lives, they're about to dramatically change. But that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Life is what we make of it.... I think it boils down to who you are before the event happens, what seeds do you have inside." I just love this and absolutely feel that he nailed it right on the head. I know that Stephanie Nielson definitely is an example of this by her incredible optimism and hope after her accident. I know that who my family was before Hunter's passing made turning the Tragedy into Triumph a littler easier for us all. 

 

The Goold Family 1998

The Goold Family 2009 (Last Christmas with our Brother)

Who are you? What seeds do you have planted? 

Well I could go on forever about this. Hunter is always on my mind. I miss him everyday. I again recognize the incredible seeds my parents planted in me and my siblings to make us who we are. 

I am so grateful for family. I am grateful for the gospel and for the SURE knowledge that families are forever.

Maybe next blog I will update you on all the lovely adventures Kevin and I have been up to this last month. Not sad to see May go. Hoping the weather starts to turn nice and the sun graces us with its bright warm rays a little more often. Lots to come for the month of June. Goodnight Bloggers.

May Day!

It's a beautiful Sunday night. Kevin is napping after a long/boring 4 hour drive back from Idaho this morning, and I, well my mind is racing with all of the things I cant wait to tell you all. 

Kev and I had the wonderful oppertunity to go to Burley ID this weekend for my dear friend Caitlin's wedding. I had never been to Idaho before and have to admit I was quiet excited for the trip. Kevin warned Idaho wasn't anything TOO special but I was giving it the benefit of the doubt. The weather was lovely. That was probably my favorite part of Idaho. Sun shinning, blue skies and beautiful white fluffy clouds. A little chilly but with the sun shinning it was perfect.

It was a beautiful wedding. Caitlin, my dear sweet friend of 23 years made a beautiful bride and she and her new husband were absolutley beaming!

 It is so fun to attend a sealing after you have been married yourself. Sitting next to Kevin as the sealer spoke, I could not help but smile as I felt such happiness for my dear friend and the incredible blessing she and her new husband were given... but also for the reminder of the blessings Kevin and I have to look forward to. 

Kevin and I still wake up everyday saying; "Wow, we are married!" 6 weeks later (which is NO TIME at all to some of you married veterans) and we are still just as happy. I keep waiting for the first bad thing to come along... fights, money problems etc (when i say waiting I don't mean sitting here biting my nails in anticipation) but, I mean waiting for all those things that Kevin and I haven't experienced yet. I keep hearing people say, give it time.. it happens to everyone. Well, until that time comes folks, I'm gonna brag a little about how PERFECT our little life is. When I say perfect, I mean as PERFECT as our lives could be right now. Kevin and I are SO happy. We recognize how the Lord is blessing our lives everyday! We both have jobs. We live in an incredible apartment, in an amazing neighborhood, in an amazing ward (which we have already decided we never wanna leave this ward). Kevin loves that I can cook and I love that he does the dishes. We tell each other everyday how much we love each other. Basically we are having a blast. Everyday our love just grows stronger. Life is incredible. 

Ok, sorry, I had to go off on my little tangent for just a moment. I am just in this incredbily blissful mood this evening.

The rest of our time in Idaho was very quaint. Kevin and I locked ourselves up in our hotel room until we had to check out this morning and head home. It was so nice. 13 hours of no distractions. No responsibilities. No time frame. Just the two of us able to spend that time laughing, eating, watching TV and enjoying just being with each other! I loved it. I could have stayed lost in that world forever!

In other updates of our little PERFECT life; we had our Open House last weekend and It was great. We are so thankful to all those who showed up even with BYU's Graduations and Easter Sunday! We are so thankful to my grandparents for letting us hold the event at their lovely home. And especially thanks to my family, my Mom & Dad, Aubrey & Daniel, McKenna, Haley and Desi for ALL of their awesome help to get the place looking fabulous and for the INCREDIBLE food!! The whole night was a huge sucess. And I'll admit I loved being back in my dress again. I got to be the Princess one more time!! 

 

On Easter Sunday, we went to hear Austin give his talk in his ward. He did such a great job. Kevin was so proud.

Then we headed up to Bountiful to have Easter dinner at Grandma and Grandpa Rick's home. Kevin's mother and sister were in town from Washington for our open house so we spent Easter with them. It was a lovely day and so fun to be with Kevin's Aunts and Uncles and cousins also.

Last week I got a promotion at work also and am very much looking forward to a little extra cash flow to increase our monthly savings for all of the fun things we have planned down the road!

The weather is so strange here in Utah. Being the California girl I am, I am so happy to finally see the snow melting away, the popcorn tree's in full blossom and the lake beaming in the sunlight. 

We are so excited for the summer. Kevin has promised me to show me what a good summer in Utah really is. I can't wait for the trips we have planned to Sacramento to do Hunter's temple work and for Aubrey's wedding. We also are planing some camping trips, lake days, picnic's, and LOTS OF GOLFING! It's probably going to be one of the best summers of my life (mostly because I have a husband now).

Well, its a short one tonight everyone. I was sure there was much more I wanted to share but I think I covered the big things! Hope everyone had a lovely May Day :) What are some things you do to celebrate May? Kevin had never heard of May Day until I told him this weekend! We took a lovely de-tour drive through the mountains behind Draper back to American Fork today. It was so beautiful. Spring is absolutely here. The mountains are starting to turn green and the lake is full and ready for a summer of attention. 

Have a great week everyone.