Being a mother is hard.
Never in my life did I think that the thing I desired to be the most would cause me so much stress, pain, heartache, sleep deprivation, depression or fear.
All of these emotions that I try and deny, "oh no, I don't have/feel that" are a daily occurrence.
It scares me sometimes.
It scares me that I catch myself thinking that I had children too quickly, or wondering what island I would be vacationing on if I didn't have kids, or where I would be spending the next paycheck on fabulous clothes and shoes for myself if I didn't have to buy diapers, formula and baby clothes.
Does that make me a bad mother?
I know I shouldn't but, I do often find myself comparing my little "mommy woe's" to mothers who have children who are handicap or who face other difficult struggles and think my problems are small.
However, sometimes there are days where motherhood feel completely overwhelming.
After a long weekend and between a sick baby, attention hungry two year old, dishes, laundry, showering, making meals, getting dressed, cleaning rooms, grocery shopping, blog planning, making plans for the week, work scheduling and so many other endless daily tasks, I feel utterly defeated.
I wanted today to be over as soon it began.
It's hard to be a mom sometimes.
Bottom line.
For every adorable, happy, picture perfect photo I post on Instagram or Facebook, there are TEN more for the moments throughout the day my toddler smacked his sister, or spilled water all over the floor, or the baby puked everywhere and the dishes and laundry began to pile up.
I think people are quick to judge when a mom mentions anything about a "bad day" with comments like;
"its SOOO tough to be you (in a sarcastic tone)"
"there are bigger problems in the world"
"stop your whining, you chose to be a mother"
"your life isn't hard"
I wish we could all embrace, love and support each other when someone needs an outlet to vent.
The truth is being a mother is hard.
So is being a father, a school teacher, a grocery clerk, a drive thru window attendant... almost every "job" is hard at one time or another.
Maybe for a little while or maybe for your whole life and sometimes it just feels good to let everyone know about it.
I'm only human.
My mind and heart and energy can only be stretched so far in one day.
I am grateful for a husband who comes home and recognizes when I need some "mommy time".
I am grateful for those moments when Hunter kisses Hayden softly and makes her giggle.
I am grateful for a quiet house when everyone is fast asleep
(even if it took over an hour to get everyone there).
I am grateful that I know I am not alone.
I am grateful to know that there is always tomorrow.
Maybe tomorrow the dishes will get done.
Maybe tomorrow Hunter will eat his food an not smear it all over the table, floor, chair and walls.
Maybe tomorrow I will feel some peace.
Maybe tomorrow I will be more rested.
or maybe Not.
But that's life.
And it's hard and that's OK.
I wouldn't trade those sleepless nights, crayon covered walls, mommy meltdowns, skinned knee kisses or moments of feeling unworthy for anything.
Hug a mom today.
Look her in the eyes and tell her she is doing awesome!
Thanks for the vent sesh readers.
I know I'm not the only one right?
What are some of your toughest mommy moments and what are your mommy woe's?
