Eight Days!

 This morning my sweet little baby is 8 days old.

I cannot believe I have been a mommy that long already.

It breaks my heart that "mommy" mode hasn't really sunk in yet since our little one is still in the NICU.

I expected to be up with a crying baby throughout the night and feeding him every few hours. Changing dirty diapers and wiping up baby throw-up. Smelling his sweet new baby smell, kissing and cuddling him whenever I want.

 All of the things that new mom's and especially FIRST time moms are supposed to enjoy.

I know that time will come and everyone keeps telling me to enjoy this time and take advantage of the sleep and rest while he is being "babysat" in the NICU. 

I hate that. 

I want to babysit my own kid gosh darn it. 

How am I supposed to "enjoy" sitting around feeling helpless while someone else is raising my baby the first week of his life?

So far I have done pretty well emotionally during this whole NICU experience. I would have never imagined the birth of our first born would turn out this way but, I have such strong faith that the Lord has a plan and that little Hunter is getting the help he needs to make sure he is ready for this world, that I don't worry too much.

I do however, wish so badly every hour of every day that he will come home soon.

Today was hard as we learned that getting your hopes up about discharge when your baby is in the NICU is setting yourself up for disappointment. 

We received news at our 10am feeding that the doctor was so impressed with Hunter's feeding improvements that he could possible be discharged tonight! His feeding tube was removed (well, he pulled it out and they didn't replace it) and he continued to eat everything he was supposed to, so the doctor said that at the 4pm feeding he would make a decision.

Hunter had his car seat and hearing test and passed both! We came in and watched the baby CPR video and went over a few other discharge procedures. 

It was so exciting to think that our little guy was finally on his way home. 

At 4pm, I went in for the feeding.

Hunter latched right away and got 24ml form the first side. A new record for he and I. I burped him and switched him to the other side. After a few minutes of trying to latch he finally did and right away his oxygen level dropped. The nurse came in to watch and after a few minutes of lower oxygen levels while he was trying to eat he had two BRADY'S back to back. (A Brady is when a baby's heartbeat drops below 80). The nurse suggested we stop feeding and give him a break. By the time we got to feeding him the bottle we had already been at it for an hour and little Hunter was so exhausted. 

The nurse explained that since my milk is coming in a lot more, Hunter may be struggling with the "suck, breathe, swallow" and that is why his oxygen levels and heart beat dropped. He was probably working to hard and going faster then he could keep up with.

I left the hospital feeling a little helpless. How am I supposed to feed my baby if it's too much for his little body? I knew right away this would be reported to the doctor and knew he would be staying longer.

At  7pm this evening we got the call that little Hunter needed a twelve hour break from breast feeding. 

The only responsibility I have as a mother and it's yanked from me for the next half day!

(my helplessness levels jumped through the roof at this point)

Tomorrow morning we will try to start breast feeding again and his levels will be managed. If he can handle everything he could be discharged Sunday but we aren't getting our hopes up this time. 

The nurse explained that the doctor wanted to see how he does and see if he just needed to slow down a bit.

If he still has problems with oxygen levels tomorrow we may still be discharged on Sunday but little Hunter would be on an oxygen tank. Blah.

I really have tried to stay positive and I really am grateful for the nurses who look over him and watch for the signs that he still needs some help, but I am so ready for my baby to come home! 

I guess we have to stay strong and realize it is better he gets taken care of now then bring him home and then we have a problem. That would break my heart to have to rush him back to the hospital or call 911. I would be devastated. 

Keep the prayers coming everyone. They continue to work and soon enough the prayers will bring him home! 

 Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. 

Baby Hunter Update

Thank you to all of our wonderful family and friends for all of your prayers on behalf of baby Hunter! 

They are working! Keep em coming! 

Baby Hunter is 5 days old tonight and is still in the NICU.

Apparently he likes it there and thinks all the nurses are really cute, so why the heck would he want to come home right?

Baby Hunter has made awesome improvements just in the last twenty four hours on his eating.

My last post, I explained that Hunter had been on IV's to control his blood sugar levels and that the doctor wanted me to try and start breast feeding. I also explained how excited I was when I was able to give him 4ml by breast feeding. Little did I know 4ml was NOTHING when the guy is being fed 50ml a feeding (every 3 hours).

I quickly realized little Hunter had a LONG ways to go before we would be able to get his feedings to where they needed to be. 

Over the last three days we have met with the wonderful lactation specialist, Kitty, and she has been so helpful in solving our breast feeding problems. Baby Hunter LOVES to sleep and this has been one of our biggest problems. Hunter thinks that when Mom comes to feed that it means its time to cuddle and relax, not eat. 

We were finally able to figure out some ways to make him not so "comfortable" during feeding time to keep him awake and interested. 

With tips from Kitty and motivation from our amazing nurses, we have finally been able to get Hunter to eat at least half of his feedings by breast/bottle.  It is such a wonderful feeling to know that in just three short days (even though it feels like a hundered years) Hunter has gained much more strength and energy to be able to eat when we feed him. 

Today we hit the BIGGEST marker yet in his eating adventures. At his 4pm feeding, baby Hunter was able to get all 50ml from the breast/bottle. NO FEEDING TUBE! With Grandma Shelley's amazing touch, he was able to finish off the whole bottle after he "tired" of breast feeding.

What a wonderful feeling to know that our little guy TOTALLY has it in him to be eating on his own and know that we are well on our way to taking him home.

 

Now, in order for Hunter to come home he has to be off of the feeding tube for at least 24 hours and gain weight.

Tonight when we went to feed him again, he only took 30ml from the breast/bottle and had to be fed the rest throught the tube. BLAH! Just when we think that we are taking HUGE leaps forward, we take a big hop back.

Like I have said before, our wonderful nurses have been so encouraging throughout the whole time Hunter has been in the NICU and our nurse tonight reassured us that 30ml was still AMAZING and that he is still well on his way to going home. We are constantly reminded also that our little guy is still working on developing some of these skills that are developed in the last few weeks of pregnancy. She reminded us that he is still supposed to be inside all cooped up and not using these sucking and eating muscles yet. She said to be patient and it will come. (Also that its's better to keep him here now and get him all set then take him home and have to bring him back when things get worse)

We have been so blessed that our little guy is doing so well. The first couple of days were really scary as we realized our first baby experience was not going to be that magical moment we had been planing for the last 9 months.

Hunter really is making great progress and we know that we will be able to bring him home in no time.

With the eating thing well on its way the doctors have also reassured us that all of Hunter's other vital signs are working well. His breathing and blood sugar are both under control. 

The doctors had also been monitoring a small irregular heart beat that was noticed in the first day. Two different tests were run to see what was wrong and after being reviewed it was found that it was not a structural problem but an electrical problem (specifically his heart was sending out an extra/early little beat every 6th or 7th beat). The doctor said it is not effecting him now but may need to be monitored throughout his life. We were told lots of babies are born with some irregular heartbeat and that most (as far as electrical heart problems) can be fixed over time, with medicine or with a pacemaker later in life.

We were so grateful for this news!

Kevin was able to give baby Hunter a bath tonight. He did awesome and Hunter looked so great. It has been so much better without all of the IV's sticking out of his head. One of our favorite things is to get to see his awesome RED hair.

It has also been so amazing to see him go from the big scary bulky NICU bed to the smaller less scary Nursery bed. A sure sign he is doing better.

Everyday gets a little better for our little guy. We are so grateful that he is healthy and is quickly developing the skills he needs to grow and thrive.

We continue to be amazed at the love and support we have received from all of you and wish we could thank each and every one of you personally. 

Thank you for your prayers and love for us and our little guy and our new family.

Hopefully the next post will be a baby homecoming! 

Baby Eats!

This morning baby Hunter started eating! 

So far, he has been on an IV that has been keeping his blood sugar levels up since his levels were SO low right after birth. 

Yesterday, Dr. Fransworth the pediatrician that was assigned to us, came in to update Kevin and I about everything they were monitoring on little Hunter. He told us that is vital signs all remain good and he is breathing great and his blood sugars were level steady (because of the IV). He said that he wanted me to start trying to breast feed. Thus far we hadn't been trying because Hunter wasn't showing any signs of being interested in eating and the first time we tried it was so overwhelming for both mommy and baby. 

Right after he was born and it was discovered that his sugars were very low the nurses brought Hunter into me to try to get me to feed. Of course I had never breast fed a baby before so I was expecting/hoping to take it a little slow and get some direction. Instead, the nurses literally forced the baby on me and forced my boobs in his face. When he wasn't showing a desire they started poking him and doing all sorts of things that were irritating him and making me anxious. After just a few minutes they decided it wasn't working and rushed him away. 

I was left feeling helpless and scared. 

When the doctor told us he was put on the IV for the blood sugar levels I was relieved that it would be controlled but still felt like I wasn't able to do one of my fist jobs as a mommy.

Last night I was finally rescued from my feelings of helplessness to be able to feed my baby. The AMAZING nurse Jenn in the NICU called and invited us down before bed to go over what the doctor had planned.

She explained that the doctor wanted me to try and feed Hunter 3-4 times a day. She said that the nurses score the baby throughout the day and so far Hunter had really shown no signs of wanting to eat. The scale is from 1-4. 1- Being alert and anxious and looking for food. 4- Showing NO interest at all. Hunter had been a 3 since he was born. I explained how overwhelmed I felt trying to feed him at first and she said that we did not have to force it. 

We came up with a plan that instead of me just coming down whenever to see if he wanted to eat, she would CALL me when Hunter woke up and had his eyes open and was more alert and in the mean time I would continue to pump so we could get him the food through a feeding tube if he wasn't ready to nurse. 

I instantly felt good about this plan because I just knew little Hunter would come around and let us know when he was ready. And that is JUST what happened.

At 2am this morning I woke up to pump and as soon as I got everything hooked up, Jenn called and said Hunter was awake and to come on down. 

Kevin was asleep so I walked myself down to the NICU trying to motivate myself that baby and I could do this!

When I arrived little Hunter had his eyes wide open, was sucking on his pacifier and looked right over at me when he heard my voice! I instantly was hopeful. 

Jenn was so amazing and I was so glad that she took the time to help me get this little guy going (Unfortunately the lactation specialist isn't in on the weekend, but I think Jenn was awesome). I was able to take my time and try different positions until I and baby were both comfortable. Hunter eventually latched to BOTH sides. I was ecstatic. Not a ton of sucking once he latched and Jenn reassured me that it could take a few attempts for him to figure out the WHOLE process. She reminded me when he gets hungry enough let us know and will eat. 

It was such a good feeling to not only help my son start eating like he should, but also just finally to HOLD him and be with him. 

Since Hunter didn't actually get any food the first time he did have to be fed through the tube. 

Feeding Tube sounds so scary, especially in a little baby. You just imagine this HUGE uncomfortable nasty thing taken up his lung space. Luckily, the tube is actually a tiny little thing they put in his stomach through his nose and it just extends out a little over his shoulder. 

This morning we got a call from his new nurse, Nancy, that he was awake again and that we should come try to feed him. Kevin went with me this time and having the confidence from the last feeding I was so excited to see how he did. 

It was awesome! Hunter latched right away to the first side. I had actually just pumped so we weren't thinking he would get anything but Nancy got out the scale so we could see afterwards. He stayed on the first side sucking a lot more then the previous feeding and so it was really cool to see him really trying. We switched sides and it was like he had been doing this all a long. Nancy weighed him again right after he ate and based on the scale she said that he got 4ml during that feeding! Success! 

It was such a great feeling. Both Kevin and I were comforted to know our little guy is strong and is gonna start getting better real soon. 

This morning we are waiting for the doctor to update us on all of the tests that were done on his heart. The tests were sent to a specialist at Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake so we have had to wait for her to review them. Waiting is the worst part, however we are so hopeful and at peace, especially since his successful feedings this morning.

Thank you for all of the continued prayers on behalf of our little Hunter. He still looks so good and we just know the Lord is watching out for him and hopefully soon we can take him home!