Doug & Melissa - Hoping to Adopt.

It never crossed my mind, not once, that I would ever have face the struggle of being unable to conceive children. Kevin and I got pregnant with Hunter within 6 months of marriage and pregnant with Hayden even quicker.  Of course, that's not to say that I may face pregnancy challenges in the future but so far I have not.  I have always felt a sadness for women I have met who struggle to have children or who cannot have children at all. It always seemed so sad to me, and in the last two years it even seems unfair at times that I can bear children without a second thought while friends and family all around me face the reality of this heartbreaking challenge daily.  Kevin & I both have sisters and brother-in-laws who for one reason or another are unable to have children. It has brought this growing sadness and very real struggle front and center in our family.
Lately, and I know last week was National Infertility Week, I have seen many posts regarding adoption, foster to adopt or fertility treatments that share stories of others journeys to start or grow their family. These posts are not only heartfelt and emotional but give the world a chance to see inside one of a family's hardest life trials. 
I have been so grateful for the strength shown by our sisters and their husbands as they continue to be examples of strength, patience and unmatchable amounts of love. 
Both our sisters have agreed to share their stories here on FordOlogy. My prayer is that their stories can reach those who also struggle with similar situations. I hope that their stories will encourage families and give hope to those who are trying to adopt or waiting for fertility treatments. I pray not only for our sisters and their husbands but for any other woman, man, couple or family that desires to love children and bring them into their home.
Today I'll share Melissa & Doug's story.

Melissa is Kevin's younger sister and she and her husband Doug have been married almost 6 years.  Doug is currently in the Army stationed in North Carolina, which has moved them so far away so we miss them terribly and wish they lived closer! 
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Dear FANS of Ford-ology,

We are so excited to be sharing our adoption plans with you today! People choose adoption for many different reasons, and we are excited to share our story with you.

First of all, a little bit about ourselves…. 

Melissa is Kevin’s sister. We are SO blessed to have such wonderful people in our family as Kevin & Kyla! Melissa grew up in Kent, Washington and attended college at BYU in Provo, Utah where she graduated with a degree in Home and Family Living in 2010. While attending BYU she also went to Cosmetology school and became a licensed hairstylist in 2006, a career which she still enjoys today. She is about to graduate from Instructor’s school at Paul Mitchell next month and is looking forward to teaching at the Paul Mitchell school full time while also working at her in-home salon.

Doug grew up in Bakersfield, California and attended college at BYU in Provo, Utah where he graduated with a degree in Spanish in 2009. He took a two year break from college in 2004 to serve a full time mission in Veracruz, Mexico for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Doug and Melissa met in the Fall of 2007 and they were married in June of 2008. Doug works for the US Army and is currently stationed in North Carolina.

Adoption was not always our plan. A year and a half after we were married, when we first felt like it was time to add to our family, we had assumed that getting pregnant would be easy. We had actually discussed what it was going to be like with Melissa having the baby during her last semester of college, or at least being pregnant during that time. But graduation came and went, and still there was no baby. As time passed, we began to worry that we may not be able to get pregnant. I think that is when adoption first came into our minds, but we just weren’t ready for that yet. Instead, we sought the help of doctors and went through infertility treatments, with no success.

It was a rough few years, to say the least. We experienced every emotion from grief and pain, to hope and happiness. Back and forth. Over and over again. We had hope, and then we didn’t. We felt like there was a plan for us, and then we became unsure. Everyone kept asking us when we were going to have children, and since we weren’t ready to share our struggle with them yet, we kept pretending like everything was fine.

After four years of trying to conceive, we knew it was going to be very difficult to conceive children of our own, and we prayed very hard to know what the right path was for us to have a family. We felt very strongly that adopting was the right path for us. We had some money saved, but not enough to begin the adoption process just yet. However, that very next week –by an angel of the Lord– we received the exact amount we needed to begin the adoption process through LDS Family Services. We knew it was the sign we had been waiting for, and we knew that it was time for us to apply.

The process we are going through may be different than those who used LDS Family Services in the past, because it just changed this past August. In the past, LDS Family Services required a lump sum, based on income, and they would complete the whole adoption process with you. Now, they ask you to get the first portion (the home study) done through another agency of your choice and then contact them. They will help you put up a profile on their website, and you will be responsible to pay an attorney to finalize the adoption once you are placed with a child.

For those of you who don’t know, a home study is the first step to adoption. No matter which agency you go through, you have to have a home study completed before you can be placed with a child. A home study requires a lot of documents, background checks, fingerprints, and questionnaires. It also includes in home visits and interviews, along with online classes. Home studies will vary slightly from state to state, and even from agency to agency, but they are all relatively the same and they all serve one purpose: to make sure your home is ready for a child & that you are capable emotionally, mentally, and physically to care for a child.

Our home study was completed this past January and we just got our profile up this past month. Our profile can be viewed here:

https://itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/31911834/ourMessage.jsf

With LDS Family Services, other than having a profile up for expectant parents to view, finding a child to adopt is left completely in our hands. We can only hope and pray that our profile is viewed and that we are chosen to adopt a baby. This can happen immediately, or it can take 5+ years.

We are using LDS Family Services because they are the option we can afford right now, but as we continue to save money we are not opposed to using another agency who will actively seek a child to be placed with us.

We have no gender or race preference, we will love any little spirit that comes our way! Our only preference at this time is age. We would prefer a child anywhere from an infant to 1 year of age. We are open to the idea of adopting an older child later on, but for our very first we really want to have that baby experience. PLEASE help us find our little one! PLEASE share our profile with anyone and everyone you know! The more people that view our profile, the better our chances are of finding our bundle of joy <3

We are looking forward to the future and we trust that however it plays out, God has a plan for us and we must have faith in God’s timing and trust that things will happen as they are meant to be. 

Thank you for your support!

Love,

Doug & Melissa

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Aren't these two amazing? I am so grateful to call them family and cannot wait for them to have the opportunity to be parents. Both Doug & Melissa have such a special place in my heart and I continue to pray for them daily.  I hope that a little person, or persons, can join theirs and our family soon.

A Fundraiser has been set up by a friend of Doug & Melissa's to help them raise the funds to adopt!  If you are Scentsy fan or looking for the perfect Mothers Day gift, please click the link below and shop under the: 
"Nelson Adoption Fundraiser Party"
All commissions from sales linked to their party will go to Doug & Melissa. (Don't forget to choose their Party ^ at Checkout) Fundraiser closes May 17th so hurry and shop today.

Thanks to Doug & Melissa for sharing their story. We hope that they can raise the funds they need. We hope they can find a little child that needs to be loved. We hope that their story, like so many others, can touch and inspire someone else who has struggled in similar ways.
Thanks for reading.