The Truth.

I was startled awake this morning by a laughing dinosaur who had previously been viciously hunting me down. The truth... That seemed fitting for today.
I was later woken again by my sweet two year old touching my face saying  "Mommy wake up. Hi Mommy" The truth... That also seemed fitting for today.

We skipped swim lessons because I had a mild panic attack as soon as I got my Hunter in his swim trunks. The truth.... Well obviously, that makes sense today.
I spent the day feeling sad, missing you and just wanting to crawl back in bed. But, I couldn't because I had two small children clinging on me at all moments of the day wanting to be held. The truth... I am so grateful for those tiny spirits who I know came from heaven where they got to be with you a short while before starting their earthly journeys. So, I guess I didn't mind the extra cuddles today.
We spent the evening with Aubs, Dan and J. Grandma & Whitney came along to. We ate pizza, laughed and the boys had a water balloon fight. The truth... It also seemed fitting for today.

The Truth. I miss you terribly. I miss your infectious laugh. I miss your charming smile. I miss your caring, loving and tender personality. I miss your "big" little brother protecting instincts.
The Truth. I can't believe FOUR years have come and gone in the blink of an eye. It feels like just yesterday we were down playing baseball up the canyon as a family.
The Truth. Sometimes I feel angry you aren't here. Sometimes I cry when I say your name. I cry when I think about a memory I have with you or here a song on the radio that reminds me of you.
The Truth. I worry everyday that something bad will happen. I think BAD things before GOOD things and panic about nothing. I can't fall asleep without checking my children to make sure they are breathing. My heart skips a little when I get a call AND a voicemail from Dad.
The Truth. I will never be the same. I will anxiously wait for the day we meet again in heaven.
The Truth. I am grateful for the knowledge that families can be together forever. I am grateful that I KNOW without a doubt that I will see you again. I know you miss us to. I know that you watching over Mom, Dad, Me, Aubrey, McKenna & Haley. I know you are happy. I know you aren't in any pain. I know you are walking with The Savior and serving him well on the other side.
Save us a spot in line baby brother.
To The Moon & Back & Once Around The Stars. PS. I am so thankful to everyone who sent their thoughts to me and my family today. It's always a hard day, today and his birthday, and we feel so blessed to have so many friends and family who love us and who love Hunter.
I mean... How awesome is my Visiting Teacher? Thanks Jessica.

And thanks to the ADORABLE Conover Family (this incredible family I met through work). They brought over the yummiest cupcakes and sweet Miranda made these beautiful origami pieces for the kids and I.  Definitely brought a smile to our faces! 

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If you are new to FordOlogy you can read more about my Brother Hunter here, here, &  here.